Joke Of The Day: The Most Famous Man Who Ever Lived

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Sep 062015
 
Rubber Chicken One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, “I’ll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was.”

An Irish boy raised his hand and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sean, that’s not correct.”

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew.” The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.”

Finally, a Jewish boy, Adam, raised his hand and said, “Please, Miss, it was Jesus Christ.”

The teacher said, “That’s absolutely right, Adam. Come up here, and I’ll give you your $2.”

As the teacher was giving Adam his money, she said, “You know, Adam, you being Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ.” “I know, Miss,” Adam replied, “in my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business.

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Paint My Porch

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Jul 282015
 
Rubber Chicken An Irish man knocks on the door of an old lady, he says he’s broke and looking for work.

The old lady says “Sure, I’ll pay you to paint my porch.” So she gives the Irish man some paint and he leaves.

One hour later the man comes back, “Are you already done?” the lady asked, “Aye.” said the Irish man, “But it’s not a porch it’s a Mazda.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: At A Pub In Ireland

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Jul 252015
 
Rubber Chicken A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh… I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.

 

 

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