Paddy is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, “Aye, Paddy, all Irish use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test. What you need is a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel.”
Paddy replies, “Aye, and what do I do with these things, doctor?”
The doctor says, “Before you climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue. If she says, ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever did see…’ you hit her with the shovel.”