Joke Of The Day

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas ..

Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a Fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station…

The conversation went like this:

”Good morning This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

”And the best of the day to yerself.. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead on me front lawn ”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ”Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a moment…

Then Father O’Malley replied: “Aye, ’tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.”

Joke Of The Day

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub together. They each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they are about to enjoy their creamy beverages, a fly lands in each of their pints and gets stuck in the frothy head.

The Englishman pushes his beer away in disgust.

The Scotsman fishes the fly out and continues drinking as if nothing happened.

The Irishman also picks the fly out of his drink, but then holds it out over the beer and yells, “Spit it out you greedy little bastard! Spit it out!”

Joke Of The Day

A customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?”

The clerk asks, “Are you Polish?”

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or If I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

“Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or If I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked For some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?”

The clerk says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”

The guy says, “Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I’m Polish?”

The clerk replied, “Because you’re in Home Depot.”

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