Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?
A: He didn’t get any because he couldn’t throw the dog high enough.
Tag: Irish
Joke Of The Day
A Cuban, a Scot, a Spaniard, and an Irishman are sharing a carriage on a train to Belfast.
The Cuban lights up this enormous Cuban cigar, takes one short drag from it and flings the cigar out the window.
The other three look at him in amazement and ask why he just threw out a full Cuban cigar.
He says, “I’m from Cuba, we have thousands of those things back home.”
The Scot pulls out a litre bottle of Bells Whiskey, a 50 year-old bottle, takes a short measure glass, half fills it, knocks it back and flings the remainder of the bottle out the window.
The other three are in shock, ask him why he just threw away a near full bottle of fine malt Scottish whiskey??!!
He replies, “I’m Scottish, we have thousands of those things at home.”
The Spaniard pulls out a flagon of red wine, a 100 year-old classic. He takes a couple of sips, licks his lips, and flings the remainder of the wine out the window.
The other three ask him why he just threw away a near full bottle of classic wine, he replies, “I’m Spanish, I have thousands of those things back home.”
The Irish then grabs the Spaniard and throws him out of the window.
Irish Virus
From an actual email:
Greetings,
You have just received the “IRISH VIRUS”.
As we don’t have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor system.
Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Joke Of The Day
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy’s 21st birthday came a round, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy stepped out of the boat … and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother. ‘Grandma,’ he asked, ‘it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk ‘cross the lake like my pappy, his father, and his father before him?’
Granny looked deeply into Paddy’s troubled eyes and said, ‘Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born
in July, you frickin’ idiot.’
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