Happy St. Patrick’s Day
Lisa Lavery, kitchen editorial assistant at CHOW.com and former bartender, knows the key to a good pint of Guinness is all in how you pour it. She shares a method for getting the perfect head from a can of Guinness without worrying about the angle of the glass or how fast you pour.
An Irishman’s been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door and up the stairs.
When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he falls right into bed and is sound asleep.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!”
“How did you know?” he asks.
“The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.”
Although born to a good Irish-Catholic family, Colm had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal conversion process. He studied Judaism all semester. Finally, he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the conversion.
On the appointed day, he arrived at the Rabbi´s office, ready to begin.
The Rabbi said, “I´m sorry, but before I give you the test, I must discuss my fee, It´s $500.”
“Holy Mother! $5,000!” exclaimed Colm, “That´s a lot of money. How about $50?”
“Congratulations, you pass.” said the Rabbi.
