Tag: Indians

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

There was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was ‘Onestone’ he hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, “If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!” The word got around and nobody called him that anymore. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said “Good morning, Onestone.”

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, “Good to see you, Onestone.

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn`t die!

The moral of the story is… you can`t kill two birds with one stone!

Jokes

Obama Dubbed “Walking Eagle” By Native Americans

Obama Dubbed "Walking Eagle" By Native Americans

President Barack Hussein Obama was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation a few weeks ago in upstate New York.

He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. He referred to his time as a U.S. Senator and how he had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.

Although President Obama was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his “red sisters and brothers.”

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented Obama with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud President then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the President.

They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.



Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Wild West Fort Apache is about to be attacked. The wily old General, standing by the fort’s main gate, sends for his trusty Indian Scout. “You must use all your years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of army we are up against here.”

The trusty Indian Scout laid down near the main gate and put his ear to the ground… “Large war party,” he says, “maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. All have war paint … many, many guns. Medicine man also with them.”

“Good grief!” exclaims the General, “you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground?”

“No, General,” replied the Scout, “I can see them through the space under the main gate.”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Two American Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the American Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

“Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.”Was the other Indian crazy or what?”

The Indian replied “No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler ‘Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!’ into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there’s a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.”

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” Immediately, there was the answer. “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, “Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!”

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” Like the others, he then heard an answering call, “WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!”

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read……………

NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

Its late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’

‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’

‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’

The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’ ‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked.

The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.’

Always remember this whenever you get advice from a government official!

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