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Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, “How come you aren’t married?”
John: “I haven’t found the right woman yet.” George: “So what are you looking for?” John: “Oh she’s got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper. She’s got to know how to handle money, have a nice and pleasant personality and money. She’s got to have money. And a nice big house wouldn’t hurt either.” George: “A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!” John: “Oh, it’s okay, if she is crazy.”
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Patients in an insane asylum are eating plaster off the walls.
The head doctor calls in the best doctor in the country to try and solve this problem. So the best doctor comes in and inspects the walls. He tells the head doctor to repaint the walls from red to green. The next day after the walls are painted the head doctor comes in and sees the patients sitting and staring at the walls. “Why aren’t you eating the walls now?” the head doctor asks them. “They aren’t ripe yet”
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A little old woman went to the drugstore and pleaded, “My husband isn’t performing as he should, do you have anything that can help?”
The pharmacist smiled and said, “Yes, of course! Viagra!” Puzzled, she asked, “Is it any good?” “It’s marvelous! I take it myself!” he exclaimed. “Sounds brilliant, can you get it over the counter?” she inquired. Sheepishly, he responded, “Well, only if I take four!”
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