 |
A wife sends her programmer husband grocery shopping.
She tells him: “I need butter, sugar and cooking oil. Also, get a loaf of bread and if they have eggs, get 6.” The husband returns with the butter, sugar and cooking oil, as well as 6 loaves of bread. The wife asks: “Why the hell did you get 6 loaves of bread?” To which the husband replies: “They had eggs.”
|
|
A guy is caught by a ranger eating a Bald Eagle and is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day of his trial, the conversation went something like this:
Judge: “Do you know that eating a Bald Eagle is a federal offense?” Man: “Yes, I did. But if you let me argue my case, I’ll explain what happened.” Judge: “Proceed.” Man: “I got lost in the woods. I hadn’t had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a Bald Eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the eagle I could maybe steal the fish. Unfortunately, in the process of taking the fish I killed the eagle. I figured that since I killed the eagle I might as well eat it since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground.” Judge: “The court will take a recess while we analyze your testimony.” 15 minutes goes by and the judge returns. Judge: “Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you didn’t intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges. But if you don’t mind the court asking, what does a Bald Eagle taste like?” Man: “Well, your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe it is maybe kind of between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl.”
|
