Tag: Horses

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The Greatest Racehorse That Ever Lived

Rubber ChickenTwo rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says “You know…. when I was a young racehorse…from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds…. I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived….blah blah blah…”

In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, “Oh yeah…when I was a young racehorse…from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds…. I am the greatest racehorse that ever lived…. blah blah blah…”

Now it was about this time that the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, “I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds.”

The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the fist racehorse finally said, “Isn’t that amazing (hic)…a talking greyhound!”

 

 

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Why Do We Wear Pants?

Because of Horses!

Why do we wear pants

The reasons why pants are advantageous when mounted atop a horse should be obvious, nonetheless, many cultures struggled to adapt, even when their very existences were threatened by superior, trouser-clad horseback riders.

Turchin details how the Romans eventually adopted braccae (known to you now as breeches) and documents the troubles a 3rd-century BC Chinese statesman, King Wuling, had getting his warriors to switch to pants from the traditional robes. “It is not that I have any doubt concerning the dress of the Hu,” Wuling told an advisor. “I am afraid that everybody will laugh at me.” Eventually, a different state, the Qin, conquered and unified China. They just so happened to be closest to the mounted barbarians and thus were early to the whole cavalry-and-pants thing.

Turchin speculates that because mounted warriors were generally men of relatively high status, the culture of pants could spread easily throughout male society.

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Jokes

Joke Of The Day

An old farmer is outside for a walk around his land when he sees a sign on his neighbor’s lawn: “Horse for Sale.” Curious, he decides to have a look-see. As he approaches his neighbor’s stable, he sees his old Italian friend brushing down a fine-looking stallion.

“Hello, friend. I saw your sign out there and came over to see your horse for sale.”

Now, the Italian farmer speaks very poor English, but he manages to answer well enough. “Yep, yep, disa is da horse for-a sale.”

“This horse here?” quizzes the old farmer. “Why, he’s a fine horse! Why-ever would you sell him?”

“Well,” sighs the Italian farmer, “he no looka so good anymore.”

The old farmer, convinced that his neighbor has lost his mind, makes the sale and leads the horse across his field over to the stable. As he taps the horse gently on the back to coax him into the stable, he watches as the horse misses the door completely and smacks head first into the wall. “That ol’ cheat sold me a near blind horse!” growls the old farmer.

He then proceeds to storm over across the field, reigns in hand, to give his neighbor a piece of his mind. “You sold me a near blind horse, you ol’ cheat, and you didn’t even tell me!” he screams.

“Eh! I tolla you!” cries the Italian farmer. “I say, ‘He no looka so good anymore!'”

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