Story Of The Day

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.

He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”

“This is Heaven, sir,” the man answered.

“Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.

“Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.”

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” the traveler asked.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

“Excuse me!” he called to the man. “Do you have any water?”

“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.”

“How about my friend here?” the traveller gestured to the dog.

“There should be a bowl by the pump.”

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

“What do you call this place?” the traveller asked.

“This is Heaven,” he answered.

“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveller said. “The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.”

“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.”

“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”

“No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.”

Joke Of The Day

St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates when a group of people from Detroit walked up. He had never had anyone from Detroit make it this close, so he told them to wait there while he asks God how to handle this.

St. Peter found God and asked him what to do about the people from Detroit. God said to let the ten most virtuous amongst them enter heaven.

St. Peter left God, and a few minutes later he came running back up to God, and said…”they’re gone”!

God asked…”the people from Detroit”?

St. Peter said… “No, the Pearly Gates”!

Joke Of The Day

A politician and the pope were both killed in an accident.

The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the politician his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name, and looked it up in his book also.

“Now, if you will come with me, I will show you your eternal dwellings,” said St. Peter.

They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the politician and told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing how important he was to the church could hardly imagine what his house would be like.

St. Peter and the Pope continued on to a small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope that this would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said to St. Peter, “Just a minute! That other guy was a politician and he gets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church, and this is all the reward I get?”

St. Peter looked at the Pope and said “True, you have done great things. But we have lots of Popes in Heaven, and that guy was the first politician ever to make it up here.”

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