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Tag: Halloween
Joke Of The Day: A Peg-legged Halloween!
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A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a hallowe’en party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. “Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate.” The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says: “Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.” Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a scathing letter of complaint. The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads: “Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel. Pour the jar of caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple!”
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Halloween Jokes
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels
Q: What’s a ghoul’s favorite bean?
A: A human bean.
Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A: For the Boos.
Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
A: He heard it had great circulation.
Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.
Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.
Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.
Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?
A: They’re afraid to unwind.
Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.
Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?
A: Boo-gers
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite
Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A: A grave problem.
Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.
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