Joke Of The Day: Who’s Dog Is Better

Rubber Chicken Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog, “T-Square” do your stuff!”

T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a square, circle and triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But, the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”

Spreadsheet went into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He then divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his dog could do better.

He called to his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.”

Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 oz. glass from the cup-board and poured exactly 8 oz. without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive.

The three men turned to the government worker and said, “What can your dog do?”

The government worker called to his dog and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, took a crap on the paper, had sex with the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker’s compensation and then went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

They ALL agreed, that dog was brilliant!

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Shovel Ready

Rubber Chicken A fellow stopped at a rural gas station, filled his tank, and took a break by his car while drinking a soda.

As he relaxed, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole.

The men worked right past the man and continued on down the road.

Overcome by curiosity, the fellow headed in their direction. “Hey there,” he said. “Can you tell me what’s going on here with this digging?”

“We work for the county government,” one of them said.

“But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. What’s up with that?” the man asked.

“Well,” the worker replied, “normally there’s three of us – me, Rodney, and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree, and Mike here puts the dirt back, but Rodney’s out sick.”

“So what does the work you’re doing accomplish?” asked the man, not quite believing what he was seeing.

“Well,” Mike said. “Just because Rodney’s out sick, that don’t mean we can’t work, right?”

 

 

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