Joke Of The Day

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Jul 072009
 

A Muslim dies and finds himself in front of St Peter at the gates of heaven.

“Hey, what’s going on here? Where am I?” he asks St Peter.

“Welcome to the afterlife,” St Peter replies.

“No, no this isn’t right. I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed, right away.”

“Would you like a capuccino?” asks St Peter.

“No! I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed,” replies the Muslim.

“Well, you can talk to Jesus if you want,” says St Peter, and goes off to find him.

“Jesus, I don’t understand what’s going on here,” the Muslim says. “I want to speak to the prophet Mohammed.”

“Would you like a capuccino?”

“No, I want to speak to the prophet! Now.”

“Well, you can talk to God if you like”, says Jesus.

This appears acceptable to the Muslim and off they go. Jesus lets the Muslim into a big room and leaves him. After a few moments there is a puff of smoke and God appears.

“Yes, what seems to be the problem here?” booms God.

The muslim is very worked up by now. “Look, I don’t get what’s happened here, I want to talk to the prophet Mohammed!”

“Would you like a capuccino?”

“Okay, okay,” says the Muslim, “I’ll have a capuccino – now will someone please let me speak to the prophet Mohammed.”

“Two cappuccinos, Mohammed,” says God.

Joke Of The Day: Balance

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Mar 232009
 

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, ‘Where have you been?’

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, ‘Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.’

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, ‘What is it?’

‘It’s a planet,’ replied God, ‘and I’ve put life on it.. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.’

‘Balance?’ inquired Michael, ‘I’m still confused.’

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. ‘For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.’

God continued pointing to different countries. ‘This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.’

The Archangel , impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, ‘What’s that one?’

‘That’s Washington State , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of software.’

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, ‘But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.’

God smiled, ‘There’s another Washington. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.