Honorable Men

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Dec 212009
 

This is a must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man)

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man, and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

“One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. “Is this your axe?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE “Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!” The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT’S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE .”

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

Sarah Palin Says the US Should Rededicate Itself to God

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Dec 052009
 

Sarah Palin said the United States should rededicate itself to seeking God’s will.

Boy oh boy, the Liberals are really going to hate her now!

The former US vice-presidential candidate argued that a humble spirit could help leaders to get more answers on issues such as health care, energy and national security.

In a video released Friday by the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, the 2008 Republican candidate for vice president, said it was important for leaders to recognise they don’t have all the answers.

Mrs Palin said: “No one person has all the right answers. It takes a united nation, and it does take godly counsel, and it takes prayer and answers to prayer – and a collective humble heart of a nation seeking God’s hand of protection and his blessings of prosperity.

“I think if we can get back to that, our country will be a safer, more prosperous and healthier nation.”

The former Alaska governor referred to an Abraham Lincoln proclamation that declared a day of national humiliation, fasting, and prayer.

She said the United States has been “touched by God” because the nation’s early leaders dedicated the country to God.

Mrs Palin said: “If we could get back to that, that humbleness, with that kind of contrite spirit, I think that we would be able to be provided more of the answers to so many of the great challenges that we’re facing.

“And these are huge challenges, whether we’re talking about health care, whether we’re talking about energy independence, whether we’re talking about national security measures.”

Source…

Joke Of The Day

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Dec 022009
 

In Washington, D.C. an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.

“I would really like to see President Obama and Speaker Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father”, replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to The President and Congress and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; President Obama and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Obama commented to Pelosi, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images and might even get me re-elected. After all, I’m IN IT TO WIN.”

Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Obama’s hand in his right hand and Pelosi’s hand in his left hand. There was silence and a look of serenity on
the old priest’s face.

Finally President Obama spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”

“Amen”, said Obama.

“Amen”, said Pelosi.

The old priest continued, “Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same.”

Joke Of The Day

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Nov 192009
 

An engineer, of the BMW Corporation died and went to heaven. At the gates St. Peter told him, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your vehicles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven”.

The Engineer thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” St. Peter took him to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

He then asked God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of woman?”

God said, “Ah, yes.”

“Well,” said the engineer, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention.

(1) There’ s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
(2) It chatters constantly at high speeds.
(3) Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
(4) The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust. And finally,
(5) The maintenance costs are outrageous.”

“Hmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God, “Hold on.”

God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read “Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to the engineer, “but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.

The Story of Adam and Eve’s Pets

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Nov 142009
 

Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal
And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail

And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’

And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.’

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride.. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other!

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