Q: What did the German clock maker say to the clock that only went ‘tick, tick,
tick’?
A: ‘Ve haff vays of making you tock!’
Tag: German
Joke Of The Day: Don’t Drink The Water
In Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population.
One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher’s stock pond.
The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: “Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen.” This means: Glad to meet you! Don’t drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.”
The man shouted back: “I’m from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan. I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.”
The rancher replied: “Use both hands.”
Joke Of The Day: The German Pen
An Obama voter saw a pen in a store the other day. He picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most.
The clerk said, “It’s made in Germany”.
The Obama voter said, “That’s too bad, I can’t use it then”.
The clerk said, “What’s the matter? You don’t like German pens?”
The Obama voter said, “No. I just never learned to write German.”
Vintage Models Made from Trash
Martin Heukeshoven is an amazing artist.
German artist Martin Heukeshoven makes miniatures of antique cars, but with a special touch. Instead of making shiny, new and all-chrome cars, Heukeshoven uses aged and rusty materials for his models creating incredibly detailed representative of what you will find rotting in scrapyards and barns somewhere. Heukeshoven’s collection includes models of Porsche, Jaguar and Citröen as never seen before.
This 48-years-old German artist started concerning himself with antique cars during the 1970’s, when his brother restored those kinds of vehicles at his job. From there, Heukeshoven started to collect unusable materials as a hobby, transforming them into unique objects. His passion for the old and ruins provided a special touch for his sculptures, giving them an aspect of decay with steampunk reminiscences.
Martin Heukeshoven uses parts of cylinders, cameras, typewriters, used cartridges, etc for his models. His reproductions of cars like the Porsche 356 Renntransporter, the Bugatti Type 57 Stelvio are between 50 cm to 98 cm, but are so detailed in and outside – the upholstery, the engines, the dashboards and the flywheels.
Heukeshoven doesn’t build more than 2 or 3 cars per year and each piece takes up to 4 months to complete. Today he receives orders from all over the world and his pieces are worth 25 thousand euros each.
Joke Of The Day
A deluxe cruise liner was sinking. The captain had to persuade the passengers of every country very tactfully to jump into the sea.
He told the American, “You’ll be a Hero if you jump into the sea.”
He told the English, “a gentleman would certainly jump into the sea.”
He told the German, “It’s a rule to jump into the sea in such conditions.”
He told the Italian, “Women will admire you if you jump into the sea.”
He told the French, “Do not jump into the sea.”
He told the Japanese, “Look, every passenger is jumping into the sea.”
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