Stranded

On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred ,..

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because the American woman endlessly complains about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her arse look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn’t raining.

The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and setup a distillery. They don’t remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whisky. But they’re satisfied because at least the English aren’t having any fun.

 

Joke Of The Day: Don’t Drink The Water

Rubber ChickenIn Texas there is a town called New Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population.

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his hand to drink water from the rancher’s stock pond.

The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: “Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen.” This means: Glad to meet you! Don’t drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.”

The man shouted back: “I’m from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan. I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.”

The rancher replied: “Use both hands.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The German Pen

Rubber ChickenAn Obama voter saw a pen in a store the other day. He picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most.

The clerk said, “It’s made in Germany”.

The Obama voter said, “That’s too bad, I can’t use it then”.

The clerk said, “What’s the matter? You don’t like German pens?”

The Obama voter said, “No. I just never learned to write German.”

 

 

Vintage Models Made from Trash

Martin Heukeshoven is an amazing artist.

Models Made From Trash 1

German artist Martin Heukeshoven makes miniatures of antique cars, but with a special touch. Instead of making shiny, new and all-chrome cars, Heukeshoven uses aged and rusty materials for his models creating incredibly detailed representative of what you will find rotting in scrapyards and barns somewhere. Heukeshoven’s collection includes models of Porsche, Jaguar and Citröen as never seen before.

This 48-years-old German artist started concerning himself with antique cars during the 1970’s, when his brother restored those kinds of vehicles at his job. From there, Heukeshoven started to collect unusable materials as a hobby, transforming them into unique objects. His passion for the old and ruins provided a special touch for his sculptures, giving them an aspect of decay with steampunk reminiscences.

Martin Heukeshoven uses parts of cylinders, cameras, typewriters, used cartridges, etc for his models. His reproductions of cars like the Porsche 356 Renntransporter, the Bugatti Type 57 Stelvio are between 50 cm to 98 cm, but are so detailed in and outside – the upholstery, the engines, the dashboards and the flywheels.

Heukeshoven doesn’t build more than 2 or 3 cars per year and each piece takes up to 4 months to complete. Today he receives orders from all over the world and his pieces are worth 25 thousand euros each.

Source…

Models Made From Trash 2

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