When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?”
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.”
James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”
Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Obama with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.”
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical, socialist, leader.
As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Obama wept and said, “This is not what you promised me.”
The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”
Have you ever wondered where the phrase “You gotta be shittin’ me” came from?
Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of our Country. Way back, George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops. There were 33 in Washington’s boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.
Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him to keep swinging it so they could see where they were heading. Corporal Peters, through the driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the corporal had been one of their favorites.
Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them they must go on.
Another hour later, one of his men said, “General, I see lights ahead!”
They trudged towards the lights and came upon a huge house. What they didn’t know was that this was a house of ill repute hidden in the forest to serve all who came. General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman. A huge smile came across her face to see so many men standing there. Washington was the first to speak, “Madam, I’m General George Washington and these are my men. We’re tired, wet, exhausted and desperately need warmth and comfort.”
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, “Well, General, you have come to the right place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?”
Washington replied, “Well, madam, there are 32 of us without Peters.”
When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?”
