Joke Of The Day: Screams Of Passion

Rubber Chicken An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion.

The Italian said, “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes.”

The Frenchman said, “Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight.”

Then the Aussie said, “That’s nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, y’know, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter, and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours.”

The astonished Italian and Frenchman asked, “Two full hours? Wow, that’s phenomenal! How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?”

The Aussie replied, “I wiped my greasy hands on the curtains!“

 

 

French Inventor Develops Pills To Make Farts Smell Like Chocolate

French Inventor Develops Pills To Make Farts Smell Like Chocolate

French inventor Christian Poincheval has a new product just in time for Christmas, a pill that will make farts smell like chocolate! Poincheval has been working on his earth-shattering invention for eight years now.

According to Poincheval’s website, the idea for the pills apparently came from a dinner with friends during which nobody could stop farting.

“We were at table with friends and after a hearty meal, we almost suffocated as our farts were smelly,” Poincheval writes. “The winds were not very pleasant for our fellow diners. I had to do something.”

You can buy these pills for ten euros. There’s also a special powdered version for dog farts.

Christian Poincheval is a 65-year-old French inventor who has dedicated the past eight years of his life to making farts smell better.

He claims that his Lutin Malin — which translates to “crafty imp” — line of pills ease digestion and “perfume” farts into smelling like roses or violets. Poincheval claims that his newest creation, just in time for the holidays, makes farts smell like chocolate.

According to Poincheval’s website, the idea for the pills apparently came from a dinner with friends during which nobody could stop farting.

“We were at table with friends and after a hearty meal, we almost suffocated as our farts were smelly,” Poincheval writes. “The winds were not very pleasant for our fellow diners. I had to do something.”

That horrific dinner, in which a group of several adults seemingly farted uncontrollably in a public space, inspired Poincheval to fix flatulence forever. He claims the pills are made from organic ingredients like blueberries, fennel and seaweed and that he sells “several hundred a month.”

Read more…

 

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Joke Of The Day: Lighten The Load

Rubber Chicken An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”

The four open the door and look out below.

The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps.

The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps.

This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

 

 

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