Joke Of The Day

In a small fishing village, a Newfoundlander was walking Up the wharf carrying two at-least-three-pound live lobsters, one in each hand.

It was three weeks after the season closed! Whom should he meet at the end of the wharf but the Federal Fisheries Officer who, upon viewing the live and wiggling lobsters, says: “Well me Laddie I got you this time – with two live lobsters three weeks after the season Closed!”

The Newfie says, “No – My Son you are wrong! These are two trained lobsters that I caught two weeks before the season ended.”

The Fisheries Officer says, ” Trained like how?”

“Well my son, each day I takes these two from my house down to the wharf and puts them in the water for a swim. While they swim I sits on the wharf and has me a smoke, or two. After about 15 minutes I whistles and up comes me two lobsters, and I takes them home!”

“Likely story”, the Fisheries Officer says! “Lets take them on down the wharf and see if it`s true.”

So, the Newfie goes ahead of the Fisheries Officer to the end of the wharf where, under supervision, he gently lowers both lobsters into the water.

The Newfie sits on a wharf piling and lights up a smoke, then another! After about 15 minutes the Fisheries Officer says to the Newfie, “How about whistling?”

The Newfie says ” What For?”

The Fisheries Officer says, ” To call in the Lobsters”

The Newfie says, ” What Lobsters?”

Joke Of The Day

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious, the man rowed over and asked, “What is the mirror for?”

“That’s my secret way to catch fish,” said the other man. “Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat.”

“Wow! Does that really work?”

“You bet it does.”

“Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I’ll give you $250 for it.”

“Well, okay.”

After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, “By the way, how many fish have you caught this week…?”

“You’re the sixth,” he said.

‘Crabzilla’: The Biggest Crab Ever Seen in Britain

The crab bears a striking resemblance to the Federal Government!


With its enormous legs and lethal claws, this monster of the deep is already the biggest crab ever seen in Britain.

But astonishingly, the arthropod – which measures a staggering 10ft from claw to claw – is still growing, and could live until it is 100.

Nicknamed ‘Crabzilla’ after the fictional giant monster, the Japanese Spider Crab has a body the size of a basketball and its legs can straddle a car. They will eventually measure a massive 15ft.

Read more…


Joke Of The Day

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice.

The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secret is.

“mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm.”

“I’m sorry, I still didn’t understand you.”

The successful man spits something into his hand. “You’ve got to keep your worms warm.”

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