Joke Of The Day: Look How Fat That Lady Is

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: Look How Fat That Lady Is
Jan 262013
 

Rubber ChickenA little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady. The little boy says, “hey dad, look how fat that lady is!”

“Shhhh, quiet son, she’ll hear you.”

“But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!”

“Shhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice!”

“But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!”

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don’t say that son, it’s not nice and it’s rude!”

Suddenly the fat lady’s beeper goes off.

“Look out dad, she’s backing up!”

 

 

Yo Mama’s So Fat…

 Funny, Jokes  Comments Off on Yo Mama’s So Fat…
Dec 082012
 
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she couldn’t fit in a satellite photo.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington’s nose
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she goes to the beach, kids shout: “Free Willy! free Willy!”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she’s got her own zip code
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, people jog around her for exercise
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago…
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get group insurance.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she jumped in air and got stuck.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she wears Maclom X shirt, helicopters land on her.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a “Caution! Wide Turn” sign.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “One at a time, please.”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain, people run to her and yell “Taxi!”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she tripped on 10th St., she landed on 22nd St..
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, if she was a superhero, she would be “incredible bulk.”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she stepped on rainbow and made Skittles
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, I guess we know what’s eating Gilbert Grape.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it said “GET THE HELL OFF!!”
  • Yo mama’s so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on my cat’s tail, now I call him “Beaver”.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I climbed on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, I ran around her twice, and got lost.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 1002’s.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got more rolls than a bakery.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as a new world.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she could sell shade.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she bumps into people when she’s sitting down.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
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