Tag: Farts
The Fart Chart
AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart
AMIABLE : Likes to smell others’ farts
ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private
AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes
ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times
BEWILDERED : Can’t tell his own fart from others
BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others
CARELESS : Farts in church
CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles
CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time
CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest
CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can’t tell which way to go
CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating
DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife’s head
DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog
DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn’t smell
DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own
ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution
FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours
FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts
GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart
HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason
IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs
LAZY : Just fizzles
MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles
MISERABLE : Can’t fart at all
MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell
NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart
PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant
SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers
SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts
SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying
SHY : Blushes when he farts silently
SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear
SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present
SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog
STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole
STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter
THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve
TIMID : Jumps when he farts
UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself
VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart
WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion
WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit
Joke Of The Day
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,”Seven Points.”
His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”
The old man replied, “It’s fart football!”
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -“Touchdown, tie score!”
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says “Touchdown, I’m ahead 14 to 7!”
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score!”
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14!”
Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.
The wife looks and says, “What the heck was that?”
The old man replied, “Half-time, Switch sides!”
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