Tag: Farmer

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The Lottery

Rubber ChickenAn old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000.

The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man a $50 bill.

The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, “Son, you know I’ve always been careful with what little money we had. I didn’t spend it on whiskey or women. In fact, I couldn’t even afford the license to legally marry your Ma.”

“Pa!” the young man stammered, “do you know what that makes me?”

“Yep,” said the old man fingering the $50, “… and a cheap one, too.

 

 

Amusing Political

Not Raising Hogs

COPY Of A LETTER TO: The Secretary of Agriculture

Dear Sir:

My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg, Iowa, received a check for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year.

What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I would just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.

As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven’t raised.

My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $442.00 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1,000.00 for not raising hogs.

If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000.00 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000.00 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.

Now another thing. These hogs I will not be raising will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?

I want to get started as soon as possible as this seems to be a good time of the year not to raise hogs and grain.

Also, I am considering the “not milking cows” business, so send me any information on that too.

In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.

Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.

Patriotically yours,

***** *. *********

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