Tag: Exam

Jokes Short Story

A Physics Exam

A Physics Exam

The story of a Physics student who got the following question in an exam:

“You are given an accurate barometer, how would you use it to determine the height of a skyscraper? ”

He answered: “Go to the top floor, tie a long piece of string to the barometer, let it down until it touches the ground and measure the length of the string”.

The examiner wasn’t satisfied, so they decided to interview the guy:

“Can you give us another method, one which demonstrates your knowledge of Physics? ”

“Sure, go to the top floor, drop the barometer off, and measure how long before it hits the ground…”

“Not, quite what we wanted, care to try again? ”

“Make a pendulum of the barometer, measure its period at the bottom, then measure its period at the top…”

“.another try? ….”

“Measure the length of the barometer, then mount it vertically on the ground on a sunny day and measure its shadow, measure the shadow of the skyscraper….”

“….and again? ….”

“Walk up the stairs and use the barometer as a ruler to measure the height of the walls in the stairwells.”

“…One more try? ”

“Find where the janitor lives, knock on his door and say, Please, Mr. Janitor, if I give you this nice Barometer, will you tell me the height of this building? ”

 

Amusing Funny Jokes

Grading Exams: The Inside Story

An inside look at how professors grade final exams:

Dept of Statistics: All grades are fitted to a normal curve.

Dept of Psychology: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Dept of History: All students get the same grade they got last year.

Dept of Theology: Grade is determined by God.

Dept of Philosophy: What is a grade? Law School: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A when they really deserve an F. Dept of Mathematics: Grades are variable.

Dept of Computer Science: Random number generator determines grade.

Dept of Music: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – is sharp and flat respectively). Tone-deaf students fail.

Dept of Physical Education: Everybody gets an A.

 

Amusing

Student Who Obtained 0% On An Exam

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?

* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

* at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?

* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?

* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?

* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?

* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?

* wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping?

* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?

* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Amusing

College Entrance Exam: Football Player Edition

Time Limit: 3 weeks

YOU MUST ANSWER TWO OR MORE QUESTIONS CORRECTLY TO QUALIFY!

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law, and social conditions.

OR

Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to:
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one)
(a) Jewish
(b) CATHOLIC
(c) Hindu
(d) Swedish
(e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximate)

8. What are people in America’s far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) NORTHERNERS

9. Spell – CAT, DOG, PIG

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

EXTRA CREDIT: Using your fingers, count from 1-5.

Amusing

Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam

THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM

NAME ____________________

GANG NAME _________________

TAG ____________________

HOOD ____________________

1). Little Johnny has an AK 47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Little Johnny attempt before he has to reload?

2). Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

3). Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus’s $800 per day crack habit?

4). Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

5). Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4×4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4×4’s, how many more Corvettes must he have to steal to have $900?

6). Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

Extra credit bonus: How much more time will he get for killing the ho that spent his money?

7). If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?

8). Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

9). Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the boa on one week’s income?

10). Billy steals Joe’s skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?
 

Load More