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To prevent hangover stay drunk. |
Tag: Drunks
Joke Of The Day: Now That’s Drunk!
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A night-patrol policeman noticed a drunk man trying to enter a house. He went up to the drunk guy and asked, “Is this your house?”
“Yesh!”, replied the inebriated man. The night-patrol policeman asked, “Are you sure?” “Yessh sirr”, replied the wasted man.”Can you help me open the door, I’ll prove it to you.” They went in and the drunkard said, “You see that painting? Belongsh to me!! See that LED TV? Belongsh to me!!” He then asked the policeman to follow him upstairs.He made his way up unsteadily. He opEned the door and declared, “See the bedd. Belongsh to me. That wooman shleeping on the bed – that’s my wife. You see that fellow shleeping next to her. That’s meee!” |
Joke Of The Day: Finding Jesus
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A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.” So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?” The drunk replies “No, I haven’t found Jesus,” The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?” The drunk again answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.” By this time the preacher is at his wit’s end and dunks the drunk in the water again – but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?” The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?” |
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