Joke Of The Day: The Dog Fight

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Apr 222014
 
Rubber Chicken The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.

Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of its cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog.

The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund’s neck, the Dachshund opened it’s mouth and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. ‘We don’t understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves.”

“That’s nothing”, an American replied. “We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

 

 

Omar von Muller – Jumpy, Skidboot

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Apr 062014
 

This video was made by dog trainer Omar von Muller.

Meet Jumpy, the Cattle dog with the most amazing routine ever. He can do the trick that gave ‘The Amazing Skidboot‘ the title of world’s smartest dog.

Omar von Muller is one of the most respected and successful animal trainers in the country. He is the trainer of Uggie, a Jack Russell terrier famous for his roles in Water for Elephants and The Artist. Widely known for the incredible performances of his dogs, his training skills are legendary in the motion picture and television industries.

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