Tag: Doctors
Joke Of The Day
Three Californian surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in California . In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost several fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England .”
The second surgeon said, “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them and two years later he won a gold medal in track and field events at the Olympics.”
The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a truck traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman’s hair and the horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now she’s Speaker of the House.”
Joke Of The Day
Ahkmed came to the United States from the Middle East and he was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.
Finally, he went to an Arabic doctor who said: “Take dees bocket, go into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bocket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.”
Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.
Coming back to the doctor he said, “It worked.. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?”
The doctor said . . .”You were homesick”
Doctors Versus Gun Owners
DOCTORS
- The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
- Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
- per year are 120,000.
- Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
-Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services
GUNS
- The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that’s 80 million)
- The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
- The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.
-Statistics courtesy of FBI
So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, ‘Guns don’t kill people, doctors do.’
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand. Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
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