Tag: Doctors
Joke Of The Day: 10-23-2009
A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a friend of his (also a mute).
In sign language, he inquired how his friend had been doing. The friend replied (vocally!), “Oh, you can can that hand-waving stuff. I can talk now!”
Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. It seems that he had gone to a specialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a treatment program that had restored the use of his vocal chords. Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this specialist. They got an appointment that very afternoon.
After an exam, the specialist proclaimed that there was no permanent damage, that the mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy, and that there was no reason why he couldn’t be helped as well.
“Yes, yes” signed the mute. “Let’s have the first treatment right now!”
“Very well,” replies the specialist. “Kindly go into the next room, drop your pants and lean over the examining table. I’ll be right in.”
The mute does as instructed and the doctor sneaks in with a broomstick, mallet, and jar of Vaseline. Greasing the broom handle, he “sends it home” with a few deft swipes of the mallet.
The mute jumps from the table, screaming, “AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!”
“VERY good,” smiles the doctor. “Next Tuesday, we start with ‘B’.”
Joke Of The Day: Mongolian VD
While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning and his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results..
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, ‘I’ve got bad news for you, you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here, we know very little about it.’
The man looks a little perplexed and says, ‘Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.’
The doctor answers, ‘I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.’
The man screams in horror, ‘Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.’
The doctor replies, ‘Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only choice.’
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, ‘Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.’
The guy says to the doctor, ‘Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!’
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. ‘Stupid American docttah, always want to opawate. Make more money dat way. No need to amputate!’
Oh, Thank God!’ the man replies.
‘Yes,’ says the Chinese doctor, ‘wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!’
Load More