A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years.
They had the following conversation:
Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water.
Woman: Ok.
Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water.
Woman: Ok.
Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water.
After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks, “Can you tell me what’s wrong with me Dr.?
Dr.: Yeah. You do not drink enough water.
Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, “Howard. Don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won’t be the last.”
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, “Howard. You’re a Veterinarian.”
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy fablus I feel rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov iennr pisss. An telum,u blody luvum!! but me not as thunk as thinkle peep i is
