Tag: Doctors

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Five Doctors

Rubber ChickenFive doctors went to on a duck hunt: a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist.

After a while a bird came winging overhead, the GP raised his shogun but didn’t shoot because he wasn’t sure if it was a duck or not. The pediatrician also raised his gun, but then he wasn’t sure if it was a male or female duck, so he didn’t shoot. The psychiatrist raised his gun and then thought, I know that’s a duck, but does the duck know it’s a duck?” The surgeon was the only one who shot. Boom!! He blew it away. Then he turned to the pathologist and said, “Go see if that was a duck.”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: After The Checkup

Rubber ChickenA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “Your husband is suffering from severe, long-term stress and it’s affecting his cardiovascular system. He’s a good candidate for either a heart attack or a stroke. If you don’t do the following four things, your husband will surely die”.

“First, each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.”

“Second, at lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.”

“Third, for dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don’t burden him with household chores.”

“Fourth, and most important for invigorating him and relieving stress, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim in bed.”

On the way home in the car, the husband turned to his wife and asked, “So, I saw the doctor talking to you and he sure seemed serious. What did he tell you?”

“You’re going to die,” she replied.

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: H-E-G-S

Rubber ChickenThe Doctor tells his patient that he has H-E-G-S

“What’s that?”, the patient asks.

“It’s a combination of Herpes, Encephalitis, Gonorrhea and Syphyllis.”

The patient wants to know if there’s a cure, to which the Doctor responds, “We have to keep you in a hospital room and feed you nothing but pancackes.”

“Why only pancackes?”, asks the patient.

The Doctor answers, “They’re the only thing that will fit under the door.”

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A young child was having a physical examination before entering school.

The doctor asked him, “Have you ever had any trouble with your ears and nose?”

“Sure,” answered the boy. “They always get in my way when I’m taking off my T-shirt.”

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

During my physical, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level,
and so I described a typical day this way: “Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake and took four “leaks” behind the big trees.”

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!”

“No,” I replied, “I’m just a shitty golfer.”

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