Tag: Doctors

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Triple Dose Of Viagra

Rubber ChickenA Man went the doctor’s office to ask for a Triple Dose of Viagra.

The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a triple dose.

‘Why not?’ asked the man.

‘Because it’s not safe,’ replied the doctor.

‘But I need it really bad,’ said the man.

‘Well, why do you need it so badly?’ asked the doctor.

The man said, ‘My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I’ve got to have a triple dose.

The doctor finally relented saying, ‘All right, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.’

On Monday afternoon the man dragged himself into the doctor’s office…his right arm in a sling.

The doctor asked, ‘Good gawd! What happened to you?’

The man said, ‘No one showed up’.
 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Old Age

Rubber ChickenAn Old man went to the doctor complaining of a terrible pain in his leg.

“I am afraid it’s just old age”, replied the doctor, “there is nothing we can do about it.”

“That can’t be” fumed the old man, “you don’t know what you are doing.”

“How can you possibly know I am wrong?” countered the doctor.

“Well it’s quite obvious,” the old man replied, “my other leg is fine, and it’s the exact same age!”

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Long-term Stress

Rubber ChickenA woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and said, “Your husband is suffering from severe, long-term stress and it’s affecting his cardiovascular system. He’s a good candidate for either a heart attack or a stroke. If you don’t do the following four things, your husband will surely die”.

“First, each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.”

“Second, at lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.”

“Third, for dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don’t burden him with household chores.”

“Fourth, and most important for invigorating him and relieving stress, have sex with him several times a week and satisfy his every whim in bed.”

On the way home in the car, the husband turned to his wife and asked, “So, I saw the doctor talking to you and he sure seemed serious. What did he tell you?”

“You’re going to die,” she replied.

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Serious Problems

Rubber ChickenA woman gives birth by a Caesarian and passes out.

When she comes to her senses, the doctor approaches her bed and says: “I’m sorry to tell you, Mrs. Smith, that your baby has some serious problems.”

“What problems, doctor? I mean, when it arrives, I’ll love it. It’s my child and I’ll love it regardless.”

“Well, yes, of course,… but your child has no legs.”

“Oh dear. Well, it’s my child, and I’ll love it regardless.”

“And it hasn’t got any arms either.”

“What?”

“Exactly what I said. Your child doesn’t have a body, or a face. In fact, your child is only a very, very big ear.”

The woman is in anguish, but she still tells the doctor to bring her her son.

“Sonny, dear, it’s me your mother! Do you hear me!?”

“There is no need to scream,” says the doctor “it’s deaf.”

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Three Nurses

Rubber ChickenThree nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for.

Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.

The first nurse said, “I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear.

The second nurse said, “Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all his condoms.

The third nurse fainted.

 

 

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