Joke Of The Day: The Four Wishes

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Dec 112012
 

Rubber ChickenA Mexican (an undocumented Democrat), a Black, a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand.

He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.”I can only grant four wishes, “the Genie said. “Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece.”

Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish.”

The Black studied for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa ..”

Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.

The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!”

Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.

The Muslim said, “I wish for ten thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah.”

Poof! It was done! ten thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, “And what is your wish?

The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.

The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn’t get any better than this!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Republican

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Dec 032012
 

Rubber ChickenA union boss walks into a bar next to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and a beer in front of him.

He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican.”

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice.This infuriates the union boss.

The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union boss asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I’ve ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns the place.”