Blonde Joke Of The Day

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Jun 222010
 

Two Mexicans illegal immigrants are on a bicycle about 15 miles outside of Lafayette, Louisiana. One of the bike’s tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town.

A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help, and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them he has no room in the trailer as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit into the back with their bike, will he take them back into town? Feeling sorry for them, he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way.

By this time he is really late and so puts the hammer down and sure enough, a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The lady officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies “Mexican eggs.”

The Blonde Lady Cop obviously doesn’t believe this so she wants to take a look in the trailer.She opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it real fast. Then she gets on her radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible plus the Swat
Team.

The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that require so many officers.

“I’ve got a Tractor-Trailer stopped with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it. Two have hatched and they’ve already managed to steal a bicycle.”

22 Things You Never Say To a Cop

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Aug 242009
 

1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

3. Aren’t you that guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must have been doin’ at least 120 mph to keep up with me…Good job!

5. Excuse me…is stick up hyphenated?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

7. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

8. Bad cop! No donut!

9. You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

10. Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.

11. Didn’t I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

12. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend’s nightstand.

13. Is it true that people become cops because they’re too dumb to work at McDonald’s?

14. I pay your salary!

15. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

16. Gee, Officer…that’s terrific…the last officer only gave me a warning too!

17. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

18. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that’s how far ahead of me they are.

19. What do you mean, “Have I been drinking?” You’re the trained specialist.

20. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

21. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That’s nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.

22. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

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