Joke Of The Day: Cry Sunday

Rubber Chicken A woman named Jill stood up at her church’s Testimony Meeting, or as some churches call it, “Cry Sunday”, one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:

“I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month.

He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum.”

The congregation gasped in horror.

The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats.

“Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident.

He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food.

He can hardly lift anything, he’s in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it.

He can’t lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need.

Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations.

He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion.

I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new.”

A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, “there but for the grace of God go I.”

Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation:

“My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill.

That word is: STERNUM!

 

 

Perils Of A Catholic Upbringing

Perils Of A Catholic Upbringing

 
As I walked down the busy sidewalk with my wife, knowing I was late for Mass my eyes fell upon one of those unfortunate ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them. Recalling my old pastor, Father Mike, who always admonished me to “care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked”, I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying her treasured worldly possessions in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person’s condition.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.

A small voice inside my head called out, “Reach out . . . reach out . . . and touch this person!”

 

 

Perils Of A Catholic Upbringing

So I did.

Perils Of A Catholic Upbringing 2

I won’t be at Mass this week.

 

Joke Of The Day: Cowboy Joe

Rubber Chicken Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. “When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral,” Joe began.

“You mean the parking lot,” interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.

“I walked up the trail to the door,” Joe continued.

“The sidewalk to the door,” Charlie corrected him.

“Inside the door, I was met by this dude,” Joe went on.

“That would be the usher,” Charlie explained.

“Well, the usher led me down the chute,” Joe said.

“You mean the aisle,” Charlie said.

“Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there,” Joe continued.

“Pew,” Charlie retorted.

“Yeah,” recalled Joe. “That’s what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her.”

 

 

Loyal Dog Attends Mass Every Day Since Owner Died

Loyal Dog Ciccio

Talk about a loyal dog! This is a sad, but uplifting story of devotion.

Ciccio, a German shepherd, whose owner passed away last year, visits the church every day where her funeral was held patiently waiting for her to return.

Ciccio belonged to Maria Margherita Lochi and had been her faithful companion after she adopted him when she found him abandoned in fields close to her home. Maria would walk to church with Ciccio from her home every day where the priest would allow him to sit patiently by her feet.

Ciccio’s devotion has so impressed villagers that they have adopted him as their own, giving him food and water and letting him sleep in a covered area outside the church.

Source…

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