Tag: Chinese
Joke Of The Day
A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with a long grey beard.
“I’m lost,” said the man, “Can you put me up for the night?”
“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man.”
“OK,” said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as well, as she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the old man wouldn’t hear, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: “Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest.”
“Well, that’s easy,” he thought. “If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about.”
He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw it out. As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: “Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle.”
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he jumped out of the window after the boulder.
As he plummeted toward the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read: “Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post.”
Joke Of The Day
A Catholic priest, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Italian from New Jersey were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Italian from New Jersey fumed, “What’s with those jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’
The Indian doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’
The Chinese businessman called out, ‘Move it, time is money!’
The Catholic priest said, ‘Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!’ said the priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’
The greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’
The Indian doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything that he might be able to do for them.’
The Chinese businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!’
The Italian from New Jersey said, ‘Why the f**k can’t they play at night?
Joke Of The Day
A Chinese Guy goes to a Jewish busniessman to buy black bras, size 38.
The Jewish guy, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers.
Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.
The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs of them.
He returns a few days later and this time he orders fifty.
The Jewish guy tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 for each one.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the remaining stock of 50, this time for $75.00 each.
The Jewish gentleman is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black bras in size 38 and ask the Chinese guy “Please tell me what do you do with all the black bras?”
The Chinese guy answers “I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you Jewish fellows for $200.00 each!”
Load More