Tag: Catholic
Joke Of The Day: God Is Watching
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At a Catholic school, there was a “meet the teacher” open house for the 2nd graders.
After the meeting, a Nun announced that there would be a small reception afterwards in the cafeteria. All the children and parents filed in, and saw on a table a plate of apples, a plate of cookies, and some water bottles and juice. As the children went through the line, one boy saw that there was a sign on the plate of apples that said, “Take only one. God is watching.” So, the boy took an apple and moved on to the cookies. He helped himself, and then took a small piece of paper, and wrote: “Take all you want”. God is watching the apples.” |
Perils Of A Catholic Upbringing
Perils Of A Catholic Upbringing
As I walked down the busy sidewalk with my wife, knowing I was late for Mass my eyes fell upon one of those unfortunate ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days.
Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them. Recalling my old pastor, Father Mike, who always admonished me to “care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked”, I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.
Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying her treasured worldly possessions in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person’s condition.
Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.
A small voice inside my head called out, “Reach out . . . reach out . . . and touch this person!”
So I did.
I won’t be at Mass this week.
Joke Of The Day: Bless Me Father
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‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.’
The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano?’ ‘Yes, Father, it is.’ ‘And who was the girl you were with?’ ‘I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.’ “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?” ‘I cannot say.’ ‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’ ‘I’ll never tell.’ ‘Was it Nina Capelli?’ ‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’ ‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’ ‘My lips are sealed Father.’ ‘Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?’ ‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’ The priest sighs in frustration. ‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.’ Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, ‘What’d you get?’ ‘Four month’s vacation and five excellent Leads. |
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