Joke Of The Day: Attacked

Rubber ChickenJeremy answers a knock at the door late one night. He opens the door to find a seven-foot tall centipede at the doorstep.

Without a warning, the centipede kicks him on the chest and walks away. The following night, he finds the same centipede back again at his front door. This time the centipede kicks him between the legs and runs away.

Jeremy is in pain and somehow manages to climb his bed and go to sleep.

He goes to see a doctor next morning. The doctor asks what happened and, Jeremy narrates the happenings of the previous 2 nights.

“Ah” says the doc. “There is a nasty bug going around.”

 

 

Mom! What’s For Dinner?

redditor ihatepants writes “My Vietnamese mom had these in the freezer to scare me. It worked.” Fine, then, hand me your portion.

Other redditors identify these cute little fellows as Giant Water Bugs and note that their aggressive behavior. In some parts of the world, they’re called “Toe Biters.”

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