“Hi Mom, How are you?”
“Hi Sally, where are you? I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware”
“Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they’ve let me make one phone call”
“What happened?”
“Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head.”
“What on earth ~ why did you do that ?????”
“Well it wasn’t my fault. Dad told me to find a Black & Decker.”
Two Mexicans illegal immigrants are on a bicycle about 15 miles outside of Lafayette, Louisiana. One of the bike’s tires goes flat and they start hitching a lift back into town.
A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help, and the Mexicans ask him for a ride. He tells them he has no room in the trailer as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit into the back with their bike, will he take them back into town? Feeling sorry for them, he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their bike into the back and the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way.
By this time he is really late and so puts the hammer down and sure enough, a blonde cop pulls him over for speeding. The lady officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which the driver jokingly replies “Mexican eggs.”
The Blonde Lady Cop obviously doesn’t believe this so she wants to take a look in the trailer.She opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it real fast. Then she gets on her radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible plus the Swat
Team.
The dispatcher asks what emergency she has that require so many officers.
“I’ve got a Tractor-Trailer stopped with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it. Two have hatched and they’ve already managed to steal a bicycle.”
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, “I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?” The blonde said, “I want 15 gallons of milk. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath”.
The milkman asked, “Do you want it pasteurized?”
The blonde said, “No, just up to my boobs.”
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls”.
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked; Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?