A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept staring at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to stare at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked,
“Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this”. She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says “The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?”
The blonde says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it!
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
“You’re finished already?” he asked.
“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.
“Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
While America might have had its chauvinistic nuts cut off by politically correct extremist who can’t take a joke when they see one, other countries are still, happily, appreciating a good ‘ol dumb blond joke courtesy of Mercedes Benz who think there’s nothing wrong with ordering a fast food meal from a librarian.
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, ‘Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.’
Her boyfriend asks, ‘What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?’
The blonde says, ‘According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.’
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,
‘First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.’
He takes her hand and says, ‘Second, I want you to relax.. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then ..’ He said with a deep sigh, …
‘Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.’