Joke Of The Day: The Most Amazing Thing You’ve Ever Seen

Rubber ChickenA guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Listen,” he says to the bartender. “If I show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen, is my beer on the house?”

“We’ll See,” says the bartender.

So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play.

“Impressive,” says the bartender, “but I’ll need to see more.”

“Hold on,” says the man. He then pulls out a bullfrog, and it sings “Old Man River.”

A patron jumps up from his table and shouts “That is absolutely incredible! I’ll give you $100 right now for the frog.”

“Sold,” says the guy.

The patron takes the bullfrog and leaves.

“It’s none of my business,” says the bartender, “but you just gave away a fortune.”

“Not really,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Cocktail

Rubber ChickenA man goes into a bar very thirsty. He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, “I’ll have another Waterloo.”

The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this new drink he says, “I’ll have a Waterloo, too.”

The bartender gives him a tall ice-cold drink.

He takes a big drink and says, “HEY! This isn’t any good. It tastes just like water!”

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, “Well, it is water … right, Lou?

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Republican

Rubber ChickenA union boss walks into a bar next to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and a beer in front of him.

He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican.”

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice.This infuriates the union boss.

The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union boss asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I’ve ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns the place.”

 

 

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