Tag: Bars

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Drink Myself To Death

Joke Of The Day: Drink Myself To Death The bartender asks “Why the long face?”

The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.”

The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself.”

The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?”

The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says “If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, I’d kill the guy.”

The man jumps up from his stool and shouts “That’s a great idea! Thanks!” and runs out of the bar.

A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.

“Did you kill the guy?” The bartender asks nervously.

“Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please.”

 

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: A Gorilla Goes Into A Bar

Rubber Chicken A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, “What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.” So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can’t believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.

So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he’s standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, “Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything.”

So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn’t say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can’t take it anymore.

“You know,” he says to the gorilla, “we don’t get too many gorillas in here.”

And the gorilla says, “At nineteen dollars a drink I’m not surprised.”

 

 

 

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