Joke Of The Day: Dear Abby

 Jokes, Political  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: Dear Abby
Oct 052013
 
Rubber Chicken Dear Abby,

I am a sailor in the US Coast Guard. My parents live in the suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and indeed is still a part-time “working girl” in a brothel. However her time there is limited, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street, and hopefully the heroin… Abby, my problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her… Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Obama?

Signed,
Worried about my reputation

 

 

Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack

 Amusing, Funny, Political  Comments Off on Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack
Oct 042013
 

Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack

I wanted to let you all know that earlier today I received my “Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack” from the White House.

It contained:

  •  A parachute
  •  An ‘Obama Hope and Change’ bumper sticker
  •  A ‘Bush’s Fault’ yard sign
  •  A ‘Blame Boehner’ poster
  •  A ‘Tax the Rich’ banner
  •  An application for unemployment
  •  An application for food stamps
  •  A prayer rug
  •  A letter assigning my debt to my grandchildren
  •  And if that was not enough, there was a coupon for a machine that blows smoke up my ass.

Everything was made in “China” and all directions were in Spanish.