Tag: Baptist

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Parking Problem At Church

Joke Of The Day: Parking Problem At Church A few years ago, I caught a story on the radio about a Baptist church that had a problem. It was with the Methodists down the street. Some Baptists were unable to find a space in their own parking lot because members of the nearby Methodist church, which met earlier than the Baptists, got there first. So the Baptist church had a problem.

Now, they COULD have towed the Methodist’s cars away. Or, they COULD have patrolled their lot Sunday mornings. Or, they COULD have written a letter to the offending church members imploring them to park elsewhere. But they didn’t.

Instead, they did something else. One Sunday morning they stuck a bumper sticker to every car in the lot — Baptist and Methodist alike. They all got one. The sticker read: “I’M PROUD TO BE A BAPTIST!”
 

 

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation. The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.

“I’ve had a pretty good life,” the twenty proclaimed. “Why I’ve been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean.”

“Wow!” said the one-dollar bill. “You’ve really had an exciting life!”

“So tell me,” says the twenty, “where have you been throughout your lifetime?”

The one dollar bill replies, “Oh, I’ve been to the Catholic Church, Lutheran Church, the Baptist Church, and the Methodist Church.” The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, “What’s a church?”

Amusing

NASCAR Prayer Gives Thanks For “My Smokin’ Hot Wife”

Maybe NASCAR didn’t know what it was getting when it hired Pastor Joe Nelms of the Family Baptist Church to deliver the invocation before Saturday night’s Federated Auto Parts 300 Nationwide Series race in Nashville.

Then again, maybe it did. Pastor Nelms’ prayer gave thanks for, among other things, “GM Performance Technology,” “Sunoco Racing Fuel,” and, bizarrely, “my smokin’ hot wife Lisa.”

Text can’t really describe what happened next:

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