Joke Of The Day: Fluctuations

Rubber ChickenOverheard at the bank; There was a short line. Just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, ‘Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?’

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘Fluctuations.’

The Asian lady says, ‘Fluc you white people too!’

Asian Women On How To Catch A Man And Keep Him Happy.

For generations Asian women learned how to treat a man by following rules laid down by Thai philosopher Sunthron Phu in his book Maxims for Teaching Women. Now they’ve taken his words of wisdom that have been passed down fro more than 2,000 years and updated them to deal with men in 2012.

Here are the winning recommendations for Western women who want to trade be successful in love and marriage:

1) YOUR MAN IS KING – Remember that your man/husband comes first – before you, your parents, your outside interests or even your children.

2) RISE EARLY. Get up in the morning before your man does. Make sure you prepare a healthy breakfast so he gets a good stare on the day. Even if you have to leave before him, make sure he has a nice breakfast waiting for him when he comes into the kitchen in the morning.

3) NEVER NAG. Never, ever. If he wants to stop off after work and have a few drinks with his buddies, that’s his business. If he forgot to take out the garbage – do it yourself.

4) BE AT HOME. Make sure you’re always at home when he gets in from a hard day at the office. Even if you are working, make sure you get home to your man/husband as soon as possible.

5) SMILE. Always greet your man with a smile on your face and, if you can, a cold drink in your hand.

6) DINNER READY. If you are home, or get home first, always have a delicious dinner ready to be served. And if he comes home feeling tense, give him a massage to ease his aches and pains.

7) LET HIM HANG WITH FRIENDS. If your man wants to have his buddies over for a night of poker, or football, or video games, don’t get mad. Encourage it and make sure you’ve got lots of sandwiches and cold beer on hand to serve them.

8) ASK FIRST. Always ask him first before you go spending his hard-earned money, or even your hard-earned money, to buy something for yourself.

9) REMOTE CONTROL. Let him choose the programs you watch on televeision. The television is man’s domain… he should be in charge. And only Netflix/rent HIS favorite movies.

10) OBEY. Don’t do things your husband doesn’t approve of. And don’t complain about it. If he doesn’t want you wasting your time watching soap operas or having coffee with a neighbor, obey him. You’ll both be happier for it.

11) WILD IN BED. Be a temptress in bed. I he likes you in sexy lingerie, wear it. Be shy and demure when you’re out in public, but once the lights are out, let him know he’s the only man in the world who can please you.

12) KNOW SPORTS. Bone up on sports so you’ll have something to talk about. But always let him start the conversation.

13) KEEP FIT. Keep yourself in shape and always dress nicely so you’ll be a wife any husband would be proud to have.

14) CLEANING. Keep your home spic and span at all times. It should look like you’re expecting company. And the laundry should always be done. Your man should never have to look for clean socks or underwear and his shirts should all be ironed – by you.

Follow ALL these steps and you will be happy for the rest of your life!

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