Common Sense Evaluation

10. Introduce yourself to an elementary school class.
9. Refer to disciplining your child as “spanking my little Weiner.”
8. Agree to be John Boehner’s running mate.
7. Become a partner in a law firm with Small, Johnson and Wang.
6. Use your name in vein.
5. Perform magic at your high school talent show as “The Amazing, Astounding, Magnificent Weiner.”
4. Open a tattoo/piercing or massage/waxing business named after yourself.
3. Co-sponsor meat-industry regulation bills with Barney Frank.
2. “This is America. If Disney can have a theme park, I can have a theme park.”

and The Number 1 Thing You Should Never Do If Your Last Name Is Weiner…

1. Behave like one.