Tag: America
Stand up for America
This is a very emotional and inspirational video. Any true blooded patriotic American will be able to relate to it. I doubt that Barack Hussein Obama can grasp the idea behind it.
Video Description:
Stand up! Every day we celebrate the first Americans who gave birth to a free nation. Come join us, and be part of the story!
Defining Americans
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.
We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.
We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour.
Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don’t know half the words in the “Star Spangled Banner”.
We’ll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.
We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.
We are the only people in the world who will pay $.50 to park our car while eating a $.25 sandwich.
We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.
We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with our yearning power.
We’re supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can’t deliver payrolls without an armored car.
We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.
Joke Of The Day
Before the final match, the American coach came to the wrestler and said. “Now don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of his “Pretzel” hold he has.
Whatever you do, don’t let him get you in this hold. If he does you’re finished. The wrestler nodded in agreement.
Now the match started. The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the coach buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t watch the ending.
Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, the trainer raised his eyes just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian’s back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on him getting the pin and winning the match.
The coach was astounded! when he finally got the wrestler alone, he asked “How did you ever get out of that hold? no one has ever done it before”
The wrestler answered “Well I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last minute I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with the last of my strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as i could. You’d be amazed at how strong you get when you bite your own balls!”
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