Tag: Abraham Lincoln

Jokes

Joke Of The Day

One night, Obama is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him.

Barack asks him, “George, what’s the best thing I can do to help the country?”

“Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did,” Washington advises, then fades away.

The next night, Obama is awake again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Obama calls out, “Tom, please! What is the best thing I could do to help the country?”

“Respect the Constitution, like I did,” Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.

Barack isn’t sleeping well the third night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is Abraham Lincoln’s ghost. “Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now, to help the country?” Obama pleads.

Abe replies, “Go see a play.”

Amusing

Strange Lincoln – Obama Coincidences

Strange Lincoln – Obama Coincidences

1. Lincoln was elected in 1860, Obama was elected in 2008, nearly 150 years later.

2. Lincoln eliminated involuntary servitude. Obama eliminated private sector jobs.

3. Lincoln and Obama were both married to ugly wives who went crazy.

4. Each man’s wife gained over forty pounds while living at the White House.

5. Lincoln was hit in the head from behind. Obama hid his head up his behind.

6. Lincoln was shot in Ford’s Theater. Obama shot up while riding in a Lincoln made by Ford.

7. Both men had vice-presidents who were illiterate Democrat senators.

8. Andrew Johnson nearly lived to the age of 67. Joe Biden nearly had an IQ of 67.

9. Lincoln was born in KENtucky, Obama was born in KENya – before both moved to Illinois.

10. LincOln and Obama each had a single letter “O” in their last name.

11. Andrew Johnson had no middle name. Joseph Robinette Biden had a silly one.

12. JOHN W. BOOTH and BILL C. AYERS each has 10 letters.

13. A Kennedy told Lincoln to take care of his health. Ted Kennedy told Obama to pass health care.

14. Lincoln and Obama were both more feminine than Hillary Clinton.

15. Lincoln was placed on the penny. Obama was not quite worth a penny.

16. Lincoln was not a Muslim. Obama was not an admitted Muslim.

17. Neither Lincoln nor Obama ever wrote a book.

18. Lincoln suffered from major depression. Obama caused a major depression.

19. Lincoln and Obama were both the first President with a beard.

20. Abraham Lincoln had no middle name. You’re not allowed to say Barack Obama’s middle name.

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