| A rich man’s son was kidnapped. The ransom note told him to bring a valuable diamond to a phone booth in the middle of a public park. Plainclothes police officers surrounded the park, intending to follow the criminal or his messenger. The rich man arrived at the phone booth and followed instructions, but the police were powerless to prevent the diamond from leaving the park and reaching the crafty villain.
What did he do? |
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A man walks into a bar and sets a lizard-looking animal down on the bar in front of him. The bartender looks at the reptile, and says, “What is that?”
The patron replies, “Oh, he’s my new pet.” “What’s his name?” asks the bartender. “Tiny,” replies the man. “Well, that’s an odd name for a lizard! Why did you name him Tiny?” the confused bartender asks. “Well,” the man says, “because he’s my newt.”
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| I am periodically the number 79. Long ago, some attempted to make me from 29, but learned it couldn’t be done. If you add me to 80 I appear to be 47 temporarily.
What am I? |
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A woman holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks if she can use the store’s baby scale.
“Sorry, ma’am,” says the storekeeper. “Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby’s weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the mother’s weight.” “Oh, that won’t work,” says the woman. “Why not?” asks the man. “Well,” she says, “I’m not the mother — I’m the aunt.”
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