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Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.
“No”, the man replied. “Land-mines.”
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After I tucked my six-year-old daughter into bed, she asked if she could sleep with Snuggles, my special teddy bear, because she was just a little scared.
I looked at her bed, filled with her own dolls and bears, and said, “What about all of these?” “They won’t help,” she replied. “They’re already asleep.”
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An Indian woman goes to the chief and asks him, “Chief Clear Sky, how do you think out names for every one of us in the tribe?”.
The Chief replies, “When Soaring Eagle was born, the first thing I did was take him outside, and saw an eagle soaring through the air. When Big Bonfire was born it was a cold day, but the whole tribe was sitting around a big bonfire keeping warm. But why do you ask this, Two Dogs Mating?”
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So, my wife managed to crash the car again today. When the police showed up, she was all fired up, insisting that the guy she hit was being reckless.
“He was on his phone! Can you believe it?!” she exclaimed. “To make matters worse, he was sitting there, casually sipping on a can of beer!” Trying his best to hold back a smile, the officer took a deep breath, looked her dead in the eye, and said, “Ma’am… he can do whatever he wants… in his own living room.”
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