| My first to us must point, it’s clear, And what I say is true, sir. My next to her your thoughts will steer; My whole’s an introducer. |
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Two men who have not seen each other in over ten years are meeting for a drink
Billy: So Mark, what is new in your life? Mark: Well, I am getting married for the fourth time on Saturday. Billy: Fourth time, What happened to Amanda? Mark: She died from eating poison mushrooms. Billy: Oh sorry to hear that, What about your second wife? Mark: She died from eating poison mushrooms. Billy: I see, and let me guess, your third wife was poison mushrooms. Mark: No, actually it was a broken neck. Billy: Oh, an accident? Mark: No, she wouldn’t eat her mushrooms.
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Two counterfeiters are making some fake bills. They’ve had a few drinks, so quality control is a little off. They accidentally make a whole stack of $15 bills.
“What the hell are we going to do now? We wasted all this time and resources making these” one of them says. “I know”, says the other guy. “We’ll go down to the gas station, where that real stupid kid works. We’ll get him to swap out our funny money for the real thing.” So they head on down to the gas station. One of the guys goes inside and slides up to the counter. He casually takes out one of the fake bills, and grabs a pack of gum off the counter. “Hey kid. I want to buy me some gum, but all I got is this fifteen on me. Can you swap it out for some smaller bills?” “Sure thing mister” the kid behind the counter says. “Do you want five threes, or a seven and an eight?”
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