Joke Of The Day: Crying At The Beach

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Sep 152018
 
Joke Of The Day: Crying At The Beach A woman with no arms and legs was crying on a beach.

She’s lying there crying when a nice gentleman is jogging by and notices her crying. He says “Excuse me ma’am why are you crying?” She replies with “I’ve never been hugged before.” So the gentleman gives her a hug and wishes her the best and jogs off.

A short while passes by before she starts to sob again. Around this time another gentleman is jogging and sees her crying. He says “Excuse me ma’am why are you crying?” The woman replies with “I have never been kissed before.” So the gentleman gives her a kiss and wishes her the best as he jogs off.

Another while passes by before she starts to cry again. Lastly a third jogger jogs by and sees her crying. He says to her “Excuse me ma’am why are you crying?” She is sobbing and replies “I have never had sex before.” So the jogger picks up the woman and throws her into the ocean and as he jogs off he says “well you’re screwed now.”

 

 

 

 

Why English Is Hard

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Sep 142018
 

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.

Why English Is Hard

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 

 

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